Journal Entry 9/11/09
I've decided that rain is the best kind of therapy, it washes everything clean and gives a new beginning. I'd be exaggerating to say that it could wash away all the hurt in the world, but for that one split second when it's down-pouring and life is bliss, it really feels like it could. I can't stop Mary, I know that, I just wish this wasn't what she wanted. I guess it just really hurts me to think that she's gonna be so far away and possibly in danger. I know it's not all about me but I wish it were. Because if that were the case then she would be staying, for me, she wouldn't leave. It's all very surreal and hard to believe, I never would have thought THIS would be what she wanted.
I wrote that the day after my sister came over for dinner. She's my older sister by twelve years. She's married to Sean. I wasn't sure of him at first, but I honestly don't think I could have asked for a better brother-in-law. Anyways, the whole thing was odd from the beginning. They asked to come over and "talk". While my parents were in denial that this meant anything I was convinced that I was going to be an aunt. No such luck.
"The military. No it's not a joke. I want to be a flight medic. Sean came with me to make sure I got all the conditions I wanted." What?! What the hell just came out her mouth?! I don't think I was angry or upset. Shocked, completely shocked and confused. The words didn't even make any sense at that point. I look to my parents but they had the same expression as I did.
"So I can't talk you out of this?"
Sean interjected " I tried but..."
"No dad, I already made up my mind, and enlisted. It's official."
Her husband had been to Iraq multiple times. I saw what that did to my sister, and to his family. Now she was going to do the same thing to us.